Why Don't Young Children Remember Before Age Three?

There's a common misconception among many parents about their children's memory before the age of three. Some believe that children at this early stage have memories, based on their ability to remember things like colors, letters, numbers, and even recite religious verses. This leads them to conclude that children have memories before the age of three.

In this article, we will answer the following questions:

• What are the different types of memory in children?
• What is the implicit memory?
• What is the explicit memory?
• How do children remember things before the age of three?

BUT if children don't have memories before the age of three, how do they remember these things?

What's known as the pre-three-year-old stage in children is actually a period of implicit memory. This type of memory exists in the child's brain and helps them recognize patterns and routines, linking colors, signs, sounds, and movements. This is why children under three can memorize numbers, colors, letters, and sounds. However, the real memory that matures from the age of three is known as "explicit memory" or "autobiographical memory". This is related to the child's ability to remember important dates like their birthday, a specific rule you've told them, or even information about their mother or father.

Therefore, the age of three is a crucial stage in a child's life, linked to the maturation of their memory. You should start teaching your child discipline, religious upbringing, and sex education at this age, specifically, because they are now able to remember the rules their parents tell them.

Explicit Memory: This type of memory involves the conscious recollection of information. Children use explicit memory when they try to intentionally remember facts, events, or things they've learned.

• Examples: Remembering their birthday, knowing that 2+2=4, etc.
• Development: Explicit memory begins to improve significantly around 2-3 years old, with the development of language and brain structure.

Implicit Memory: This type of memory occurs automatically and is more related to skills and habits that children perform without actively thinking about them.

• Examples: Knowing how to ride a bike or tie their shoes.
• Development: Implicit memory begins very early, even in infancy, as it doesn't rely on language or conscious thought. For example, babies can learn patterns or motor tasks without even realizing it, simply through repetition!

What is the main difference between a child's implicit and explicit memory?

• Explicit memory: "I know this thing and I can tell you about it accurately." Because the child used their real memory here, they remember the thing clearly.
• Implicit memory: "I only know how to do this without thinking." Because the child learned this from repetitive patterns and not from their real memory.

How Does Your Child Learn & Remember Before the Age of Three?

As mentioned earlier, before the age of three, children don't have explicit memory but rather patterns. They recognize certain routines and patterns around them. Before the age of three, humans don't have memory, so we deal with them through repetition (continuous corrective action), which is what makes your child remember. Mature explicit memory starts from the age of three or more.

4 Practical Examples to Help You Teach Your Child Through Repetition

• If your child hits you or others, gently hold their hands and say, "We use our hands in gentle ways," then guide them to touch a soft stuffed toy. The reason this method is successful in modifying a child's behavior is that young children have short attention spans, and redirection focuses their energy on acceptable behaviors.

• Repeat good behavior in front of your child: If your child throws food, calmly pick it up and say, "We keep food on the plate," while demonstrating how to put it back on the plate. Your child will adjust their behavior because children at this stage learn by imitating adults, so showing them what they should do reinforces the desired behavior.

• Allow choices that they can control: If your child refuses to wear shoes, offer them a pair and ask, "Do you want the blue shoes or the red shoes?" Giving children choices at this stage helps them feel in control and reduces resistance to changing their behavior.

• Create a fixed daily routine for your child before the age of three: Before bedtime, always organize toys with your child and say, "Now it's time to clean up before we read a story." This routine will teach them about commitment and responsibility.

Conclusion

Understanding this fact about how your child's memory works will help you understand a lot about their behavior and why your child doesn't remember what you tell them before the age of three. The best way to make your child comply with what you ask of them between the ages of one and two and a half is to teach them through constant repetition, and then move on to what suits their memory development and age stage later.