Children's Defiant Behavior: Causes & Solutions

Many mothers often complain that their children ignore them, remain silent and unresponsive when spoken to, or don't respond when asked to do something. But have you ever considered that you might be the reason your child isn't listening? This article will explain why your child might not be responding and how to deal with them correctly.

This article will give you answers to the following questions: 

• Why do children disobey orders?
• How can you make your child listen to you?
• What methods can you use to get your child to listen to you?
• How do you deal with a stubborn child?

Why Doesn't Your Child Listen to You in the First Place?

Children often exhibit behavior that rejects listening to speech and orders when parents do the following:

• Parents interact with the child in a wrong way.
• Constant yelling at the child.
• Interrupting the child's playtime and asking them to do things you want them to do during that time.

What Actions Will Help My Child Listen & Follow Instructions? 

There are four important actions that, if you do them, your child will begin to obey you, listen to your orders, and respond to you, regardless of their age:

Firstly: Time It Well!

Stay away from times when your child is deeply engrossed in enjoying something they love, like a game they're playing, a TV program they're watching, or when they are sitting with their father and siblings enjoying themselves. Then you start asking them for things and spoil this time for them.

• Benefit: Your child feels that you are giving them a degree of freedom and not forcibly compelling them to do what you want and interrupting their fun time.

Secondly: Use a Gentle Tone!

When asking anything of your child, be affectionate towards them and ask with a smile and a gentle manner.

• Benefit: A smile breaks down 30-40% of stubbornness and makes the child respond to you more easily.

Thirdly: Communicate with Friendly Body Language!

Approach your child and touch their left shoulder, close to the heart area, when asking anything of them.

• Benefit: This will make your child feel affection, comfort, and closeness to you.

Fourthly: Address Your Child by Name to Get Their Attention!

Call your child by their name when asking anything of them. Address them by their name, not "Mommy" or "Honey."

• Benefit: This will make your child pay attention to you, be interested, and feel connected to you and that you respect them.

The Emotional Bond: It is the strong connection that develops between parents and their child by the father and mother showing intense interest in their child with love, affection, protection, care, and spending time with them.

What to Do If Your Child Is Stubborn and Doesn't Respond to the Previous Methods?

There is a very important rule in Behavioral and Brain Sciences, which is the basis for solving the problem of the stubborn child.

For your child to obey you, they must feel connected to you, and the meaning of connection here includes the child's emotional connection with the father and mother. Your child's brain will not allow them to obey you unless they feel connected to you!

This emotional connection will only happen if the father and mother start spending time with their child, by playing with them, going out with them, spending time, and not being preoccupied with other things. And start building a strong emotional bond with them.

Conclusion

Ultimately, you play the most significant role in shaping your child's personality. Children are born without inherent knowledge of rules or expectations; they learn through your guidance and the time you invest in them. Obedience and responsiveness are not innate qualities but rather skills developed through consistent interaction and teaching. By nurturing a close relationship and dedicating time to understanding your child, you'll not only foster better listening and attention but also build a stronger, more meaningful connection.

You can also learn about Kydzzo's courses on dealing with stubborn children through this link.

If you are facing a complex problem, contact us to book a consultation and solve your problem.

WhatsApp number: +33 7 67 81 95 88